As the first cool winds of autumn make their entrance, I notice a definitive shift within myself. The more I thought and the more I listened; the more I realized I was fighting against the transition –season to another season and that with no avail I could not prevent summer from ebbing and fall from flowing.
In this moment, I recognized that I could either bend and learn or continue to resist and remain rigid. This time, I chose to learn, to ponder and to be still in the midst of what felt uncomfortable. In this place of beautiful tension, reflecting on the metaphor of the seasons, what came to me was this: how often do I war against myself, against transitions, against the natural course of my own life? How often do I attempt to control what is truly out of my control? How often do I miss ‘what is’ because of what I long after? And then the answers followed: only I can free myself from the war within in, from the grips of control and open myself to the gifts of acceptance, moving with instead of against and ultimately, only I can allow for myself the gift of falling into surrender.
Surrender is defined in the dictionary as: ceasing resistance or abandoning oneself entirely. From my experience within myself and from my experience of witnessing others in my life, these acts of ceasing to resist and abandoning oneself, may be something longed after or for some even embodied BUT not without practice and patience and serious intention. The irony, as I breathe deeply the crisp autumn air, is that to the seasons, the tides, all the forces of nature, surrender is innate.
Summer does not try to hold onto itself when autumn’s first winds arrive on its’ doorstep, and autumn does not rage or resist the first blanket of snow, signaling winters beginning. Winter freely releases its’ hold, in order to allow spring growth and spring bursts with welcome to summer’s arrival. Oh, the lessons contained here, in the every day, in what I inhabit but from which I can be so disconnected.
So now that I have recognized, realized and noticed, I sit at the feet of this autumn arrival, as though at the feet of a wise teacher, leaning in, ceasing to resist and abandoning myself to be present with what is more than myself. And the gift of such an act is the ability to know self at a deeper level, be connected and not distracted, to inhale hope and freedom and to exhale doubt and fear. I wish you the very same.
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